Friday, May 23, 2014

Paper pregnant - part I

We're expecting. But, I'm not showing. In fact, I'm not even pregnant (but I do have odd food cravings, just ask my husband).

Actually, my husband and I are in the middle (beginning? end?) of our second adoption - we're paper pregnant. With our first baby, we kept everything quiet for a number of reasons. Among those were: it was unchartered territory (for us); people ask odd (and by odd, I also mean rude) questions; we have no due date (a biggie); it seems strange to have a baby shower without a baby bump; we knew the possibility of a failed adoption; things either happen at a snail's pace or in a whirlwind and updates get wearisome; etc.

Up until now, few people have been privy to our process, but I recently read a statistic that 75% of families who begin the adoption process get discouraged for lack of support. I know that discouragement. So, with my husband's blessing, I will be writing more about this new experience as we go through it, when the emotions are raw rather than forgotten. Hopefully, someone will read and be encouraged in the midst of what can be a discouraging and lonely process.

Our first adoption was relatively smooth as far as adoptions go, I imagine. Every situation is different. Sure, we had some rough spots (paperwork, clearances, more paperwork, more clearances, interviews, references, classes, waiting, rejection, home visits, legal paperwork, and other things I seem to have forgotten as a pregnant mom forgets the pains of labor...). But, all in all, we had smooth sailing after we [finally] settled on an agency. Within roughly four months of going active, we were matched.

This time around is definitely different. About a year ago when our daughter was around 3 months old, I began researching. We like to say around here that I am the gas pedal and my husband is the brake. It was on my heart to adopt siblings from the foster care system, but I knew that was something that the Lord would have to speak to my husband. I can argue a good case, but bringing home hurting children (and more than one, at that) would require teamwork and complete commitment on both our parts. Imagine my surprise when one day my husband informed me that he thought we should adopt siblings!

So, we started the process last July, shortly after our first adoption was finalized, and were approved in early October. I read a blogger who referred to the paperwork part as the first trimester. Six months ago we entered our second "trimester."

This process is definitely more of a marathon than a sprint. Stay tuned....

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