Sunday, September 14, 2014

A tale of two interviews

A short update since we can't share all the specific details at this point:

A week ago my husband and I were interviewed as potential parents for four children from a midwestern state. We were one of the first families interviewed, and it may be some time before a decision is made. Hopefully, we will know this week whether or not the caseworkers are still interested in us, since [once again] our hearts have been captured by these children and by their story, and we want to know how to proceed.

The other day, we had a phone conference for four children from a different state. At this point, we are the top choice for these precious kiddos. The next step, should we decide to continue and should the state remain interested after our interview, is for us to begin meeting the children. Each state has its own matching process, and this particular state wants potential parents and children to meet before a final decision is made.

I asked the worker how they handle explaining that to the children, since a family could conceivably meet the kids and then decide against bringing them home. She said that families are introduced as "maybe" families, and the children, particularly older ones, have the opportunity to offer feedback. Before we commit to going this route with these children, we need to be as certain as possible in order to minimize the possibility that we'd decide to move in another direction. I can't imagine how horrible that would be for the children to have been rejected yet again.

Both sets of siblings sound as though they would fit well into our family. Every scenario brings with it some concerns; particularly so in the second situation since these children have not yet been counseled on adoption and believe they may be returning to family. Given that, we are moving slowly and wish for counseling to occur over time before we meet with them. In the interim, we hope to hear one way or another from the first situation so we can make the best decision possible.

Meanwhile, we continue to research, inquire, and submit. We are continually challenged and stretched as we learn about different medical and behavioral conditions and decide if we could successfully handle them in our home. This week, we had to research Hirschbrung's Disease and Microcephaly.

We also keep participating in educational courses as we see ones that may prove helpful. This weekend we took a webinar on Discipline, Attachment, and the Adopted Child, since children coming from traumatic backgrounds require special care, especially as attachment doesn't always occur the way it is supposed to.

Our social worker is amazing and proactive, and we have heard back from a number of caseworkers across the country. Quite a few have expressed interest in us, and we have either expressed continual interest or have declined to pursue further.

As always, we appreciate continued prayers for wisdom and discernment. I foolishly thought that this second time around would be somewhat easier, and I am finding out daily just how wrong I was. With our first child, my heart broke as I read the reasons that birth moms didn't feel as though they could handle raising a baby, and I couldn't imagine carrying a little one and entrusting him or her to complete strangers. (I maintain that birthmothers are among our culture's unsung heroes.)

Yet, this time around, we are talking about children who have been mistreated by parents. They aren't available for adoption because their birth mom wants a better home for them. They are waiting for adoptive families because they are victims of neglect, abuse, trauma, etc. Needless to say, this has been eye-opening, and we continue to ask for prayers for these children in need.

1 comment:

  1. I think there is nothing so fragile as the tender heart of a little child.